Capetonification

Like any creator driven piece of work, the product morphs as it's inventor's perception and life evolves.
I'm changing all the time. Learning new things, about the world and myself, and this blog has come to reflect that evolution.

In the search for an identity I discovered something significant:
I don't know who I am.

Strangely enough, it's not that scary.
I was at my uncle's place yesterday, visiting. At first we were alone, but it was his birthday on the Monday so some friends started arriving. We were drinking and talking shit, shooting the breeze and having a mediocre time.
Pretty soon the playstation 3 came out.
The assembled throng watched the games commence. I disappeared outside for a bit of peace. I was sitting next to the pool, petting their dog and laid back to relax for a while.
My brain was soaked with whiskey.
And then I heard them talking about me.
Where is Tony? Where did he go?
It sounded so strange. I was there, but not there, if you know what I mean.
In my drunken state, the mind mist taking hold, I was completely detached from my identity.
I knew who Tony was. I knew what he meant to the people inside there. I compared Tony to my other identity, the one I showed to my friends, to my work colleagues, to strangers.
One was a clown, perceivably successful, happy go-lucky.
The other was a hard-working, intelligent asshole, who liked to be the centre of attention.
They had different sides, and they were two very different people.
So then, who was this person laying at the pool?
There were no memories attached to him, just a sense of presence, being here and now.
Who are you?
Nothing.
And that ain't so bad.
Identity is defined by expectation.
But ultimately, expectation leads to disappointment.
Time re-asserted itself and I assumed the role of Tony again.
But the memory of it lingered.
For a second I thought of all those schizo's in all those movies made famous by hollywood: Norman Bates, Aaron Stampler (Primal Fear) and Patrick Bateman.

We must all bear the lies we live.
Under all this bullshit, all these facades, the countless feigned feelings and emotions, it is waiting.
There's someone or something trying to emerge.
Maybe it's a monster.
Only time will tell.

So what does this mean for this blog?
Simple. It's changing.
It's got a new name. A new direction.
It's still about my life.
And this town.
It's men.
It's women.
About the fucked up shit I see it everyday.
The mountain, it's toll.

Capetonification - http://capetonification.co.za

Don't know what it is?
Here's a hint: http://capetonification.co.za/index.php/2010/04/07/new-definitions

Here's a poem: http://capetonification.co.za/index.php/2010/06/27/capetonification

It'll be an ongoing theme, and will be discussed, amongst other things often.

Thanks goes to Tom Kapinos, for creating a legend
And to you, Charles Bukowski, for opening my eyes.

Let's do this.