Capetonification

So two weeks ago, I had, some would say, the privilege of sending the evening having drinks at the famous 15 on Orange Hotel Murano Bar in Orange street Cape Town.
Now I'm not gonna fuck around folks.
This is a brutal review, so let me get down to it.

15 on Orange Hotel Murano Bar is a dive.
And by dive I mean, the place seems to be barely out of construction phase. The decor is almost non existant. Walls are covered with long curtains to disguise their nakedness. The bar itself is the size of my living room, and the 'upstairs section' is no larger than my shitter.
What a waste of time.
To make matters worse, drinks are exorbitantly expensive, which seriously cramped my style and left me nursing one double-jack-on-the-rocks all night. Eventually I shelled out for a Peroni. My lady had a single vodka and lime, and the bill came to over R120.

Despite all this, 15 on Orange is masquerading as the pinnacle of pretense.
But what truly intrigued me was that the cool-hip-savvy Cape Town crowd there that night, seemed to believe they were frolicking in the lap of luxury.

Fucking deluded.
Reminds me of that fat emporer with the new invisible clothes. It was invisible to anyone who was not worthy, incompetent or stupid.

Based on what I saw, they were all of the above.

So in closing, I rate the 15 on Orange Hotel Bar:

That's 5/5 Turds ladies and gents, the shittiest rating you can get.
There are far better places to blow your cashish. Stick to your golden oldies, because this one ain't worth the bother.

More info (in case you are feeling like being exploited or you dig fat naked Emporers) - http://www.africanpridehotels.com/15-on-orange-hotel/

Vomit anyone? - http://www.africanpridehotels.com/press/22-press-releases--2010/414-cape-towns-latest-fashion-icon-serves-sparkling-flawless-champagne-and-martini-cocktails-and-the-price-a-mere-r100-000.html